That's a Big, Fat Lie, Doctor!

So I was losing my voice and had a sore throat Wednesday. I went to the doctor's office on Thursday hoping to avoid a weekend stuck in bed, feeling like my head might explode. I am blessed with a student doctor who is nervous as heck and keeps leaving the room. I tell him my symptoms and he says he wants to listen to my lungs. That makes sense to me so I sit up real straight on the table and stare down at the floor. I can't help but notice this innertube that's making it's way around my midsection. Ladies, you know how it goes...no matter how much weight you lose after having babies, the tummy is always the last to go...if it goes. So it doesn't help that I have a horizontal striped sweater on, either. All I see is a wide ring of magenta following a tube all the way across my tummy. This is also sometimes refered to as a muffin top...

I decide to stare at the wall instead as I breathe in and out, feeling the stethoscope make it's way around my back, then my chest, until out of nowhere I feel the stethoscope come to rest lightly on my muffin top. Startled, I look down at it, look up at the student doctor who is listening intently to something, look back down at my poor tummy, and turn again to drill laser size holes into the side of his face with my ultra-laser glare. He doesn't seem to notice because he is still very intently listening to my fat cells reproduce. I'm thinking as I'm drilling that I must be pretty unlucky to get stuck with the pervert student doctor. When he takes it off after what felt like an eternity, he turns to write something down on his chart. In my very squeaky, tiny voice I ask him , "What does fat sound like?"

He said, without looking at me, "Uhh, I'll be right back. I need to ask the doctor something," and left the room.

Liar.