It's NOT Barbie, it's 'The Beach!'

Saturday, September 27, 2008

WOW

My oldest son came up to me during class the other day and asked me how old he had to be to have a girlfriend. I told him sixteen. He turns to a little girl standing next to him and says, "Sorry, my mom said I have to be sixteen."

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A Day in the Life of Jenn...

In high school, I used to have a comic strip titled, "A Day in the life of Jenn's Friends". I had some pretty good ones. I'd always add one to the bottom of my all important notes that all teenagers always looked forward to giving and receiving. So it seemed fitting to add some current funnies here, although, I am not drawing any pictures. You'll just have to use your imagination.



1
. My youngest son is full of funnies. This morning I was trying to wake him up for school. He's lying there, all warm and snugly under his covers while I'm freezing my butt off in my scivies. He mumbles, "I have a suggestion. How 'bout we miss school today." I think in my head the following: "I have a suggestion. How 'bout you save that suggestion for this coming Saturday?" As I proceed to try and wake them up again, he says, "But what about my suggestion?!" "It's noted", I say.


2. I was trying to teach First Grade. It was hard. I said to my little proteges, "I have a big grizzly bear that lives inside of me. She likes to eat up little children. I have to work really hard to keep her inside. But when little kids get really loud and don't listen, she just begs and begs to come out. You really don't want to meet her." That was when my oldest son, who is also in my class, says "Yeah, I've met her. She's MEAN!"


3. You know your kids are spoiled when you bribe them with a stop at the donut shop on the way to school if they hurry, and they say, "We're sick of donuts!" I don't remember ever saying that as a child...


4. My middle son is in kindergarten. He has the sweetest teacher. When his baby sister was in the hospital being treated for dehydration, she notices he isn't playing at recess. She asks if he is okay. He says, "Well, I'm just really worried about my baby sister." She asks him if he wants to say a little prayer for her. He says yes, and so she hugs him to her ample bosom and says a little prayer. The moment she's done, he pulls his head up real straight and stiff and says, "What's that smell?!" She had been in the bathroom earlier and sprayed some air freshener and a little had settled on her aforementioned bosom! She says, "Oh, that's um, orange and sage, Sweetie!"...or something like that! He just walks off with this look on his face like, 'my teacher is weird and I'm not sure if I liked that but I think maybe I did'...! She's dying laughing along with the teacher next to her!


5. My youngest son gets into the back of his grandmother's car after his exhausting half day of Pre-K and exclaims with a loud sigh, "What a day!" His grandmother is thinking in her head, "Yeah, mine has just begun, kiddo."


6. I arrive at school early in an attempt to get a few things done. I have all three of my boys with me. I am not paying a lot of attention to them since I am trying to get those few things done. When I am getting close to finishing those few things, my youngest son comes up to me and says, "Mommy, look." Silly me looks up. He has taken my blue happy face stamp and stamped all over his happy little face with it! He is covered in blue happy faces!!! I mean covered...all up his arm, across his forehead, down the side of his cheek, EVEN ON HIS EYELID!! At that moment, the first bell rings. I take him by the hand and walk him up the hall to class like nothing at all is wrong with the way he looks. I can't wait to stop by my friend's room and show her my happy little guy who's just so happy and thinks he has done not a thing wrong!!


7. My middle son is doing his kindergarten assessment that they all do before school starts. His teacher, (a good friend of mine) asks him to think of a word that rhymes with "rock". Of course, he wouldn't say "sock" or "clock" or "block". No, instead he thinks for a minute and says, "cock". Without cracking a smile, she says, "Oh, you're Daddy is going to like that one." He just smiles, so proud to have made a rhyming word!


8. I had my students write in their journals with the following prompt: "I see_______." At the end of the day, I'm reading them. I open my son's journal and see the following: "I see K___. I like her. She is pritty and fun." So sweet! On the way home, I say to him, "I liked your journal today." He answers incredulously, "You read my journal? Why did you do that?!" I answer, "I'm your teacher, remember?" He sits there a minute and says, "Oh, yeah. I forgot. I guess that's okay." I said that I think she is pretty, too. He says, "Well, didn't you read the last part?" I said, "You mean that she is fun?" He replies, "Yeah, that part. Well, I don't really know if she is fun, but she looks like she'd be fun."