Lie #4: Old people don't know what they're saying

Here's a pretty big lie, right here. How many times have you joked about old people just rambling about nothing? Or, just blown them off because something they said didn't make sense to you? Well, I've come to believe that the older you get, the more you feel you have earned the right to just say what's on your mind. Think about this. If you suddenly started spouting a thought you had exactly the way you thought it, it might come out sounding a little off, right? We often stop ourselves from saying something we think because of where we are, who we are with, or just because it wouldn't sound so nice. Well, I take that back. There are some of us, ahem..myself included, who do just say it anyway. Nevertheless, for the sake of my hilarious blog entry, let's lump myself right up with every other tactful person.

So, with this in mind, I have a funny story to tell. There is the use of the S-word in here, so I'll warn you when it's coming up but I will edit it. I was sitting in the dentist's office yesterday in the waiting room. When I arrived, I noticed a little girl with her very proper mother who was 9 months pregnant (I know because of her conversation later on) and the woman's elderly father. After I sat down to wait for my name to be called, they continued a conversation they had apparently been having before my arrival. He wanted to change assisted living homes and go back to his old one. He kept asking his daughter why he couldn't move back to his old one. She very patiently, but very loudly because he was hard of hearing, kept repeating that the old home was full and didn't have any available beds. He told her to call back and to keep calling back every day until they did. She said she couldn't do that because she had too many other things to do during the day. He kept telling her to do this and she very patiently replied she would not. He asked for the number so he could call and she said she would not do that. So he said, 'Then you call every day for the next week.' She again said she was too busy to do that. He looks at her and very bluntly and angrily tells her, 'It'll take less than 2 minutes to call them so give me the number if you won't do it.'

She just looked at the wall and studied the pictures, waiting for him to forget about it. So after a few minutes she asks him what's the difference between where he is now and where he used to be. I'm thinking in my head, 'You're asking for trouble, Momma.' Meanwhile, her little 3 or 4 year old daughter is playing quietly nearby. There are a few other people in the waiting room and remember, she is talking very loudly to him. He looks pissed and (WARNING: BAD WORD COMING UP!!) looks at her and says, 'A whole lotta sh!*, that's what!' She looked mortified and didn't say anything to that but looked back at the pictures and studied them intently for few minutes. I start smiling as I'm 'reading' my magazine, and look up to see him staring at me. I am still smiling and give him a little wink and go back to 'reading' my magazine. I am dying laughing inside! So a few minutes later she goes back to repeating the same conversation again and this time, during a lull in the conversation he says to her, 'My roomate farts all night long, too.'

I could've fallen out of my seat right then and there, but I composed myself and thought twice about it. Ahhh, sometimes I wish I were a little more like that old man at the dentist!