It's NOT Barbie, it's 'The Beach!'

Sunday, May 31, 2009

We do what we have to do...

Tonight, Jonah was saying the family prayer and it went exactly like this: Dear Heavenly Father... Well, I don't know why we have to earn 100 points to earn our scooters, but...we do what we have to do! In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Upon moving to CO, my skin has been thirsty - and a little itchy due to the dryness. So, I was reading to Joel and I stopped a few times to itch my arm. He says to me, "Mom, I think you have fleas. You know what that means...you're going to have to get flea powder!" Thanks to the authors of Ed and Fred Flea. The next morning he told me that I was a bushy flea head.

Jessica said her first prayer completely without help the other night. It went something like this: Dear Hebbie Fadder, kank oo por dis day. Peas bess Gamma an Papa an peas bess Papa and Gamma. Peas bess Pappa an Gamma and bess Gamma and Pappa... This must have gone on for a full 60 seconds before she wrapped it up with a big Amen and a happy clap of the hands!

My husband and his brother had these really great ship wheel headboards when they were kids. Now we have them and to update them a bit after they sat in an attic for many years, I painted them with a weather crackle look. They look amazing, by the way. Joel was out in the garage with me and asked me what they were. I said they were ship wheels, like from a big ship. He shouts really loud, "That's awesome! Now we can play pirates and say, 'Arrr Matey, give me some root beer!!'

We were reading from the scriptures the other night and Jonah asked what wicked meant. We explained it to him as an angry look crossed his face. I asked what was wrong and he said, "I thought wicked meant something was cool!" You know, as in, "Man this blog is wicked!"

Jerry can't watch a movie without reciting entire passages word for word or commentating an entire scene. Kung Fu Panda is one of his favorites. "Here it comes, here it comes Dad! They, like, fall down the stairs fighting (his hands are talking as much as his mouth as he acts the scene out) and his big bottom goes like, Boiiiiiing on the tigers face!" He than follows it up with the biggest laugh possible from a little kid with an "Awwwww, that was so funny! Rewind it, Dad! I GOTTA see that again!"

Once when Jerry was in Pre-K, he brought home a little Lego cat. I asked him where it came from and he said he didn't know but that his teacher had two of them at school. I asked if he took it and he said he didn't. I kept asking him and finally I asked him how it could have gotten from her class to our house. He says, "I don't know. I guess it must have just walked here." He was serious as a heart attack and to this day, I often wonder about that cat... It did seem to be able to make it's way back to the class though. It must have hitched a ride in Jerry's pocket.

Jonah was lying on the couch with his daddy today watching a little TV. I was lying on another couch and I mouthed something to his daddy. Jonah thinks I am talking to him. He looks at me and puts his hands up and shrugs while mouthing something like a question to me. He wanted to know what I said. So, instead of telling him I wasn't talking to him, I mouth to him "I love you." He mouths back like he's still not sure what I'm saying. I mouth it again..."I love you." He looks around at his Daddy and brothers and looks back at me and mouths this: While pointing at me he mouths, "YOU...love...(then points at himself)...ME?" I mouth "Yes." He smiles a sweet contented smile and snuggles back in with his Daddy. A few short moments later, he comes over wanting to snuggle with me and as he's climbing under the throw on the couch with me, he says, "So, you were saying that you love me?..."

Awww, kids...gotta love 'em!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Don't just clean, Oxy clean!!

My youngest son, Joel has a new hero. Billy Mays. We were at the store the other day in the detergent aisle and I am looking one way while he and Jonah are looking the other. Suddenly, I hear Joel sing loud and clear, "Don't just clean, Oxy Clean!" I turn around to see a wall of Oxy Clean products!! So today while I was cleaning a little spot on my couch, he says to me, "Momma, you need one of those special cleaning things to get that spot out. You need Oxy Clean. Just don't clean, Mom. Oxy Clean. It's the only thing that makes it really extra sparkly." (I am not putting those words in his mouth, btw. Anyone who knows Joel, knows he's a goofball like that!)

Then, the other day I was on my laptop while the boys were watching some afternoon TV in the living room with me. Suddenly, Jonah turns to me and looks at me a little strange. Then he turns away and soon looks back at me and asks, "Mom, did you get a Bump It?" I had a small portion of my hair pulled back in a little clip,making it look like I had a baby Bump It behind my bangs section!

And I don't know about you all, but I get sick of the mess in the bathroom after my kids attempt to brush their teeth. After complaining about it one day, Jerry, my oldest son, says to me, "Ah, Mom...I keep telling you we need a Touch 'n Brush!"

My kids are suckers for an informercial. They ask me all the time why we don't have those Shamwow rags that absorb 20 gallons of water/pop/wine (if you're a drunk). I was trying to tell Jerry about a segment on Good Morning America that I saw where the hostess actually tested these products and how it just doesn't work like they do on the commercials. He argues passionately for Vince about how they really DO work. There was no convincing him. Finally, I just told him I like to spend $20 a month on paper towels.

And don't even get me started on the Snuggie. They talked about those things so much that one day in March we received a package in the mail containing 6 snuggies, complete with the free book lights that you can attach to a magazine while lying on a couch with the lamp on behind you. Thanks Daddy! You really know how to make your kids day! We can't wait for football season to begin around here so we can show up wearing our snuggies.

We also need the sliders that go on the bottom of ANY shoe that allow my kids to annoyingly slide around all carpeted areas of the house like professional skaters, Hercules Hooks for all the shelves we're planning on hanging (those really do work great though, btw), the Gourmet Quick Chop to slice and dice the vegetables even though I told Jerry that I have one like it from Papmered Chef. But he said it doesn't open up and come apart completely for cleaning. Didn't matter that I told him that actually it did. And don't forget the Roll and Grow flowers that transform your bland, ordinary lawn into a tropical oasis. We need them all.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Lie #74: Real men wear pink?

I bought my two older sons pink collared polo shirts for their school. They go to a charter school here in CO and they have uniforms. Collared shirts with khaki or navy pants/shorts. Anyway, I showed Jonah and said, "Look what I bought you and Jerry to wear?!" They have pink t-shirts that they wear on a regular basis, btw... Jonah looks at me and gets this 'I'm trying to look like I'm as excited as you are but I'm really not and the more I think about it and the longer I look at that pink shirt the harder it is for me to act excited' look. I say, "What? You don't like it?" And he says, "Oh great, now everyone's going to laugh at me!"

So I say that was fine and I could take it back to the store. He seems good with that. Then today I bring down a yellow shirt and a brown shirt for him to choose from and ask which one he wants to wear. He says, "Ummm...the pink one?" I said, "You want to wear the pink one?!" He said yes and so off he went to school today looking very smart in his darling pink collared shirt and he never complained once about it!

So the saying should go something more like this:

Real big boys who will do anything to please their mommies wear pink.

I love him!

BTW, Jerry looked at it later that evening and said, "I'll wear it on Valentine's Day!" I just laughed and said, "That's in February...next school year!" He just grinned like he was fully aware of that!