Lie # 3: We'll be fine here for 4 1/2 months while Jerry is living in CO.

I've never before in my life felt so isolated and alone as I have the past few months. Jerry left in January and while time seems to fly and while we have made a few road trips up to visit, I feel like I have been left alone in Tulsa. I know I have family here and I know I have friends here, but we are all busy with our own lives. I had no idea how emotionally taxing it would be to care for 4 small children and have no one else who is as responsible for their well-being as myself around to help. This could be considered an ode to single parents of 4 children everywhere. I am not living in my own home and I cannot hire a babysitter to come in and take care of them for the night while I go and eat dinner with a friend or watch a movie or even just take a nap. I hope no one thinks I am whining. I have had significant help and support from my In-Laws and from my dear friend, Carla. Her husband has been amazing with my kids. He plays with them, he snuggles with Jessica, he even let me sleep in on a weekend! I couldn't repay them all for their help no matter what I tried. I'm just saying...I'm lonely and I miss my husband with a ferocity I never knew I had. I keep pushing it down because I know it will be over soon, but it's threatening to spill out and wreak havoc unlike anything I have ever before experienced. I need him. And that's it.