If I have to sit on the toilet and look over at the shower door, or the door frame, or the edge of my toilet paper, or even the floor and see one more poop smear I think I am going to scream. What was God thinking when he decided that human waste should be brown and stinky? And I hate toilet training toddlers. I have stumbled across more stray poops and smears on the carpet than any other person in history. Wanna challenge me? Bring it on. I have my husband and my mother-in-law who will coroborate my claim. In one weeks time, I cleaned up no less than 8 poop SMEARS on my carpet from a certain little boy who thinks the floor is his toilet paper and the closet is his toilet bowl.
Get this: We went to both CiCi's pizza locations twice in a 3 day span - weird and WT, I know...but you are not going to believe what you are about to read. It is absolutely true: My little boy dropped a log right out the bottom of his pants leg in front of the bathroom that my husband then stepped in as he was walking back to our table at the first restaurant. At the second location a few days later, I walk back to the arcade to check on the boys and I am greeted by two of them walking around the corner, one with his pants down to his ankles telling me has to go poop. After a slight and quiet freak out moment, I then go and scan the entire floor of the arcade for any poop droppings and as I am confidently walking out of the arcade to go back to the table, what do I see? That's right, folks-another hunk of that brown stinky waste we call poop. I wanted to die.
Pooping is not a normal or natural thing. It's DISGUSTING! There is a multi-billion dollar industry dedicated to this gross bodily function, for crying out loud! In case anyone is wondering, I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE POOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!
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9 comments:
no comment at this time. i need more time to let this entry sink in.
I once walked into J-1's room when he was three and was greeted with poop smears all over his carpet and toys and whatever else he could get his hands on.
S was the poop artist. We duct taped her diaper on, put her sleeper on backwards and whatever else we could think of to keep her diaper on, but she could always get out. We nicknamed her Houdini. After every single nap I would have to scrub the crib...the only problem was it was a dark brown and the spindles were those carved ones with lots of crevices. Needless to say she quit taking naps at a young age.
C was scared of her poop. Once she accidently did it while taking a bath and started screaming and trying to run away from it!
But you take the cake with dropping logs in restaurants!
WOW!!
Have you seen that movie vapoorize with Ben Stiller and Jack Black. I haven't but it reminds me of perhaps how the premise of the story was developed (Jack Black invents a spray that vaporizes poo in a matter of seconds). If that stuff were real I'd send you a box full. Also my Mom said in New Zealand the zoo had only metal bars keeping the monkeys from the zoo guests. Once a kid was making faces at the monkey so the monkey chucked a handful of poo at the kid. Maybe kids and monkeys are more closely related than us "non-evolution believing" Mormons would like to believe. Love you lots girl!! Give your poopy kids a hug for me!--cause even after this post I miss them too! :)
This post really Stinks, Jenny!
So funny, so disgusting all bundled up into one.
You must come read about Sam and I's most embarrassing moment.
This one takes the cake! You know what always makes me cringe, though, is lifting up the toilet seat to find a big ol' log... but no toilet paper.
Love how this post is right above the 'finger lickin good' post. Okay, okay-that was a gross comparison. Sorry. My kids never had a problem like this. But I do remember walking in a few times to a crib and baby covered with poop, all the while smiling and playing. Ashley even had her hands in her mouth with it once. Yuck.
No words. Okay, maybe a few ... I'm glad I have lots of girls!
I heard through the teenage grapvine that you had an incident this weekend where Joel pooped on the stairs! How funny-for us onlookers, that is!
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