lie #3: Hi, how are you?...I'm good, thanks for asking.

You know people don't really want to know how you are when they ask that question. It's just a greeting; a way of saying, "Tell me you're fine so I can continue on my way down the hall to my own class or meeting." But I'm going to tell you how I am right now. So if you don't really want to know, stop reading. Now.

I feel like I am going to explode. I don't know why exactly. But I do feel that spontaneous combustion may happen at any time. I am teaching at a new school where I was excited to be at but now feel completely out of my element. I am not that good a teacher! These teachers are top notch and they wanted me there and now I know they are all wondering 'what the heck were we thinking!' My brother was in the hospital and that took all my summer vacation and then I went straight into teaching. I have a longer drive and I have 3 kids to take with me instead of 2. I am teaching First grade instead of Second and I feel like I am running on nothing. My energy level is -1. My brain is fried. I have no idea what will happen to my husband's job, my children are crazy and I feel like the WORST mom in the history of moms. My son tells me that he hates this house and this family. I was like, "Well, too bad. You're stuck with us."

I have no time for lunch. My ADD medicine is not working for me so I am going to have to find another one (that's going to make the 4th one). I leave in the mornings with the boys at 7:15 every morning and I come home at 6 feeling like I have accomplished nothing. It's very disheartening. My two youngest sons opened a bag of mini colored marshmallows (WHY do i buy those nasty little devilish things?!) and chewed them up and then spit them out in messy, sticky little multi-cultural piles of vomity looking puffy stuff all over the game room, including but not limited to the carpet, closet, bed, sheets, clothes, tv, and toys. And by the way, to anyone who enjoyed my pooping article a few months ago...it's not over. It's still being wiped on the walls, rolls of toilet paper and even...my hand towel, which I used to wipe my face off this morning while getting ready for church. In trying to have the Spirit of the Lord with me, I actually didn't yell. I just started all over with soap and a clean towel. So when people look at me and say, "How do you do it all?!" with awe and befuddlement in their eyes, I say..."I don't know." Because the storm is brewing and ready to hit along with Hurricane Gustav, people. Watch out! The next time someone asks me how I'm doing...I might accidently spill over and make a big mess of myself at their feet. They'll slowly walk around me and come up with some excuse like their pet elephant just got loose and run like mad towards the nearest exit.